I wish I could teleport
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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