I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
