at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
