I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
