God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
