he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
