in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
