one two three fourrrrnication!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
