What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
