"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
