i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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