I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
