i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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