if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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