Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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