There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
