I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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