thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
