you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
