You're so nebulous sometimes
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.