Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.