yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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