It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
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he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
What changed your mind?
Being sober
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It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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