Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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