Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
