dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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