butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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