i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
