remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
