I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
