Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
