I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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