may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
