...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I think my moral compass just broke
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