in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
