Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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