We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
