im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
