You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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