how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
