I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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