I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
