i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
