Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.

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(678): Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol. http://tfl.nu/nnbo

Replies (7) Good night (1199) Bad night (2291)
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(917): View more from New York City

I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.

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(917): I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom. http://tfl.nu/7aa5

Replies (65) Good night (6517) Bad night (646)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one

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(502): so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one http://tfl.nu/ezfm

Replies (11) Good night (4587) Bad night (617)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.

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(403): I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night. http://tfl.nu/12y8

Replies (9) Good night (6128) Bad night (1290)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed

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(610): So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed http://tfl.nu/2fhq

Replies (5) Good night (4244) Bad night (1111)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?

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(706): Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son? http://tfl.nu/k5tb

Replies (0) Good night (796) Bad night (1276)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore

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(401): um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore http://tfl.nu/seg6

Replies (11) Good night (896) Bad night (2463)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking

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(617): College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking http://tfl.nu/tpd8

Replies (9) Good night (1972) Bad night (643)
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(360): View more from Washington

ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.

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(360): ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present. http://tfl.nu/50t2

Replies (2) Good night (672) Bad night (567)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.

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(920): I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister. http://tfl.nu/n0zu

Replies (11) Good night (1173) Bad night (555)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.

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(860): I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time. http://tfl.nu/nvbm

Replies (11) Good night (1198) Bad night (541)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."

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(318): He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car." http://tfl.nu/xfdu

Replies (5) Good night (659) Bad night (875)
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(806): View more from Texas

I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.

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(806): I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism. http://tfl.nu/hgk9

Replies (3) Good night (798) Bad night (395)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead

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(603): The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead http://tfl.nu/vy0x

Replies (5) Good night (462) Bad night (407)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??

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(574): I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat?? http://tfl.nu/1o4f

Replies (9) Good night (1397) Bad night (456)

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