She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.