my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.