Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.