I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
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A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
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My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.