I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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