she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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