Got a toothbrush?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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