at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
