May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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