Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
