I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
