You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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