well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
