Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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