I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
