YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
And then he peed in my hair
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