does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
