You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
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