My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
