Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
