belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
