You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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